Dating courtship and engagement
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In a number of ways. A wedding is not intended to be a fashion show. Neither does God want it to occur. There is beauty in simplicity. Differences can cause much heartache. On the other social, both parties should realize that neither of them can court a person God forbids them to marry or a person God forbids them to promise to marry. The primary reason why many marriages end in disaster is because during courtship the couple becomes too involved in their physical si for each other. Generally not, for the hard facts show that most teen-age marriages simply do not have the same success as marriages where one or both persons have attained a more mature age. Over recent decades, though, the concept of arranged marriage has changed or con been mixed with other forms dating courtship and engagement dating, including Eastern and Indian ones; potential couples have the opportunity to meet and date each other before one decides on whether or not to continue the relationship. You cannot promise to do something God forbids even if the reason seems good. Between entering marriage, a lot of Australian couples like to live with each other to get an idea of what married life would be like. Wikimedia Commons has media related to.
Marriage is a God-ordained sacred institution, and it is intended to be a lifetime proposition. Marriage originated at the time of creation; it is not a mere human invention. Courtship The Bible encourages young people to consider marriage—and certainly it is unwise for people to suddenly marry, without ever having paid any attention to each other, or without really getting to know each other. Therefore we approve of courtship among young people—but there are some instructions that need to be passed along to youth. The dangers of courtship There are many pitfalls during the years of courtship, but the most menacing danger is related to habits which can lead to sexual intimacy. The primary reason why many marriages end in disaster is because during courtship the couple becomes too involved in their physical attraction for each other. It is very easy to overlook even obvious personality defects, since so much pleasurable emotion comes from the activities of touching and embracing necking and petting. At those moments—when the passions are aroused—who cares about personality defects? The sex experience is beautiful and right—but only within the bonds of true and honorable marriage. Because God knows that the physical relationship between a man and a woman might lead to the birth of a child—and that the child will only get the proper nurture within the family situation of a godly marriage. In the Bible, fornication sex experience before one is married is classified as being equal to stealing and murder and idolatry. Most Christians would never think of committing murder—taking the life of another person—but God says that fornication is equally wicked. The couple who progresses from holding hands to the act of touching and embracing—can scarcely ever return to the less intimate level and be satisfied. One of the best safeguards to a pure courtship is a well-planned date—an evening filled with activities that are all planned—things to do and places to go that are planned in advance. They enjoy having a group of energetic young people singing a song, engaging in conversation, or letting a word of testimony. Spend time together cooking a meal, making candy, popping corn, looking at pictures, or playing simple games. Both can agree to read the same portion of the Bible at the same time each evening of the week. These are things to do, and places to go, in order to make your courtship constructive and filled with purpose. The choice of courtship The Scriptures are clear: believers are not to even consider marriage with unbelievers under any circumstances at all. The Law in Israel forbade intermarriage with persons from the non-Jewish nations round about them Deuteronomy 7:3. We are not to marry pagans. Believers are not to give their daughters to unbelieving boys or their sons to unbelieving girls. The New Testament commands the same thing. Failure to observe this basic law of God has led to shipwreck in thousands of homes—and any girl who marries a young man with the idea that she will change his undesirable traits after the ceremony, is only inviting disaster! If a person is not honest and trustworthy before the wedding day, the words of a marriage ceremony will not change him. If he is careless about handling money before marriage, he will likely exhibit the same characteristics later on. There are other instructions related to choosing a good partner. You will have confidence and trust in your special friend, and will not really have a desire to date other persons. These things will be more important than his or her physical attractiveness. You will be lonely when circumstances require the two of you to be separated. You will long for the day and the hour when you can be together again. You will hurt when your special friend is hurt or criticized. You will rush to the defense of your friend and seek to support him or her. You will want your children to have the character qualities and attitudes which are evident in the life of your special friend. If each of you is bubbling over with these seven characteristics, it is quite evident that love between the two of you is really growing. And remember that true love can thrive without physical contact. The base for your companionship is too shallow. Your interest must be in the total person, not merely in his or her physical charms. Engagement All of us have read the account of the engagement of Joseph and Mary, as it is given in Matthew 1:18-25. They prepare for marriage by further testing their love, further learning to make adjustments, seeking to correct faults, and making plans for the wedding day. The couple should only enter into the betrothal period after much prayer, and with the full confidence that God has been leading. Sometimes when a young man becomes engaged, he thinks that because the matter of whom he is going to marry has been settled—he can now relax and let his ordinary behavior surface. He may have previously been play-acting. For this reason, sometimes, one or both of the partners realizes that the engagement was a mistake and this is not to encourage breaking engagements —yet while engagements should not be taken lightly, it is far better to break an engagement than to seek a divorce after marriage. He should not be a miser who saves every penny, nor should he be a careless spender, spending everything as fast as he earns it. And of course, any person who looks for those qualities in a potential marriage companion should work diligently to develop those same qualities in his or her own life. The Bible and wisdom teach that it is best not to live at either parental home. Seek the counsel of someone in whom you have confidence and speak about the details. Sexual relationships are for cementing the marriage relationship into a strong and permanent bond. The Wedding When it comes time to plan the wedding, determine to let the occasion be marked by simplicity and modesty. The money spent for a showy wedding is not an investment that will pay dividends; it is money spent that is gone forever. Think of the thousands of people in Africa and India who are dying this week. The wedding is an important ceremony because marriage is a sacred event. Jesus says that at the time of marriage, the couple leaves father and mother and they cleave to each other. They are no more two, but one flesh Matthew 19:6. Just as Satan tries to take Christ out of Christmas and the resurrection out of Easter, so he seeks to take the deeper spiritual essence out of the wedding ceremony and put trivia there instead. Yet we are aware that a wedding ceremony can be beautiful and impressive and sacred without blindly following the routine cultural patterns. There are ways to keep the cost of a wedding in a more moderate range. Here are some suggestions. Weddings would be a lot more Christian if they were a lot less elaborate! There is beauty in simplicity. A wedding is not intended to be a fashion show. It is to be one of the most sacred of all Christian services. The serious purpose of binding two hearts and lives together for a lifetime of home-building must not be lost in the midst of the formality and display of an elaborate wedding procedure. It does not cost much to walk to the front of a church auditorium, and seriously repeat the marriage vows, and then kneel together and pray. The typical wedding in many cultures is saturated with matriarchcalism. It centers on the bride, and thus violates the Bible principle of mutual love and dignity that should surround both parties in a marriage. In some circles, the wedding format is something like this: The people begin to arrive in the church building; there is quiet pre-ceremonial music; the ushers seat the women; the men tag along behind like frightened little puppy dogs. After a few musical selections, the clergy, the groom, and the best man appear from somewhere at the front of the church auditorium. Then, down the aisle come some sweet little girls carrying flowers, followed by some sweet big girls clad in beautiful dresses often very immodestly designed ; and finally—the big, important, momentous occasion arrives! As the rear door opens—and in answer to the call of music—finally, here comes the bride! It would be much more in keeping with mutual love if the bride and the groom would walk into the auditorium together—or even for the bride to come via one door with her parents, and the groom come via another door with his parents—and the two meet together at the altar, facing the minister in charge. In the Christian wedding, the worship, honor and glory should be directed toward Jesus Christ, not toward the bride. After the ceremony the newly married couple should be allowed to greet guests, and then leave the scene of the wedding in peace—with the echo of their vows ringing in their ears, the good wishes of their friends lingering in their hearts, and the blessing of God upon their marriage. May God help each young person to find joy in living, whether your lot in life involves marriage, or whether in the providence of God you happen to remain single. Print copies of this booklet may be obtained from: BIBLE HELPS Robert Lehigh, Editor PO Box 391 Hanover, PA 17331 United States of America.
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